Amazing Truths about Tweens, Teens and Their Screens

In 2005 we moved to London for a job opportunity and stayed there for 7 years. During that time Apple Inc. developed and launched the iPhone and the iPad. While we were in London we were blessed with two amazing boys and while they grew, I was lucky enough to be testing and playing with the new Apple devices. Little did I know that these amazing pieces of technology would become common everyday accessories for so many people in the world, especially Tweens and Teens. Smart devices they were and still are today giving people access to the world via the internet and so many different apps and content.

The only difference between 2006 (first generation iPhone released) and today is that today these smartphones and devices are far more advanced and intelligent. You can access anything on the internet and it is not always safe.

As our boys grew and became aware of the world around them, so did their curiosity at what their dad was doing on his device. They quickly learnt to tap and swipe the smart device screen and soon were trying to hack into my iPad. 

Useful Tip: 

After ten failed password attempts (i.e. the eleventh) your device is disabled and you need to connect to iTunes. If you have set your device to erase all data after 10 failed attempts, oh well….I guess we know what that means.

My boys are now 12 and 16 and both have iPhones and iPads, as well as school laptops. When the pandemic hit, screens became heavily used in our household, this was part of a coping mechanism for them and for the parents. Not being able to leave the house was tough, but the screens did help. March 2022 marked two years of the pandemic, and researchers are starting to see a fuller picture of how the last two years have affected everything from the economy and health care to education and mental health. For parents, caregivers, educators, and even policy makers across the country, kids’ media use has been a central issue in this conversation. 

The Common Sense Census Report: Media Use by Tweens and Teens, 2021:

This report talks about kids’ media use during the pandemic and compares the numbers to previous years. They found that media use has grown faster since the start of the pandemic — over a two-year period — than it has over the four years prior to the pandemic. But this report goes a few steps further by exploring the content behind those numbers: how kids are spending that time, and which media activities they enjoy most. 

The results present an opportunity for parents and caregivers to think differently about how they establish healthy boundaries in a world where media use is higher than ever — and with no sign of the trend changing. But this data is also a call for policymakers to take action on legislation that will make media use safe, healthy, and engaging for kids everywhere. Access to inappropriate content such as pornography, hate speech, and so on is too readily accessible. 

As parents, we seem to be trying to separate teens from their screens constantly, worried about what they are doing – too much social media, too much scrolling, are they being bullied, are they being kind, are they protecting themselves, what is their on-line presence like, etc… 

So here are some screen time Guidelines for Tweens and Teens: (from Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital)

These guidelines resonate with me and my children’s use of devices, so I hope they will help you. Remember, all children are different and respond differently to certain parenting styles. You need to find that happy medium that suits you and your child while ensuring he/she remains safe.

As kids get older, too much screen time can interfere with activities like being physically active, doing homework, playing with friends, and spending time with family. Too much screen time also can contribute to obesity, attention problems, sleep disorders, and problems at school.
For teens, screen time can include things like researching a school project, creating music or art, or interacting with friends via social media. But it also can include less productive activities, like watching inappropriate TV shows, visiting unsafe websites, or playing violent video games.
Some studies show that teens spend almost 9 hours a day online, on the phone, watching TV, or playing games — so what’s a parent to do?

Parents should continue to set limits on screen time, preview all shows and games to make sure they’re OK, and stay aware of what their teens are doing online.

How Much Is Too Much for Tweens/Teens?

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that parents of kids and teens 5 to 18 years old place consistent limits on the use of any media. This includes entertainment media (like watching TV and movies), as well as educational media (like creating flash cards on a smartphone app).

Not all screen time is created equal. It’s up to parents to decide how (and how often) their teens use screens and whether screen time is positive or negative. For instance, time spent on homework or other educational activities might not need to be as restricted as time spent playing video games.
For teens (and kids of all ages), screen time should not replace time needed for sleeping, eating, being active, studying, and interacting with family and friends.

Screen Time Tips for Tweens and Teens:

The same parenting rules apply to screen time as to anything else — set a good example, establish limits, and talk with your teen about it.
To make your teen’s screen time more productive:

• Research video and computer games before letting your teen get them. Look at the ratings, which can run from EC (meaning “early childhood”) to AO (meaning “adults only”). Teens probably should be limited to games rated T (for “teens”) or younger. 
• Preview games and even play them with your teen to see what they’re like. The game’s rating may not match what you feel is appropriate.
• Make sure teens have a variety of free-time activities, like spending time with friends and playing sports, which can help them develop a healthy body and mind.
• Turn off all screens during family meals and at bedtime. Also, keep devices with screens out of your teen’s bedroom after bedtime, and don’t allow a TV in your teen’s bedroom. 
• Treat screen time as a privilege that teens need to earn, not a right that they’re entitled to. Tell them that screen time is allowed only after chores and homework are done.
• Spend screen time together to make sure that what your teen sees is appropriate. Watch TV, play games, go online — use screen time together as a chance to interact and communicate.
• Use screening tools on the TV, computers, and tablets to block your teen’s access to inappropriate material.
• Teach your teen about Internet safety and social media smarts, and make sure he or she knows the dangers of sharing private information online or sexting. 
• Keep the computer in a common area where you can watch what’s going on.

Conclusion:

Love your kids, speak to them, agree on healthy limits, help them understand the dangers of not exercising, or sleeping enough. Promote healthy use of devices to assist them with their daily lives including school work. For teens (and kids of all ages), screen time should not replace time needed for sleeping, eating, being active, studying, and interacting with family and friends. Our teen can stay up to 2am if we don’t keep an eye, which affects his mood and health.

Talk to them, you may not have a happy engagement as they scream and shout at you, but trust me, they listen as long as you remain calm and level headed. Remember this is a marathon not a sprint. 

Read my post (7 Best Parent Control Apps for 2023) – if you could know if anything is untoward on your child’s device without having to do a spot check, wouldn’t you do that? It is part of loving and caring for them. Thank you for reading.

For the history of the iPhone and iPad see:

Apple iPhone history: Look how much the iPhone has changed

iPad History – How Many iPad Generations Are There? (Answered)

As you know iPhone and iPads are not the only smart devices and the other major players are Samsung, Huawei, Xiaomi, Oppo and Sony. They use different operating systems, however once up and running your phone or tablet will be managed via which-ever operating system is installed and allow you to purchase apps on-line.